Lyrics to "Bowling Shirt" (Plugged Version)

This thing is attracting a bit of attention on Soundclick these days. There is a slightly different version on NON-PLUGGED. I've been told that once heard it keeps running through one's mind in combat boots--which is exactly the effect I was striving for.

"I'm Picking My Nose in a Bowling Shirt"

I’m picking my nose in a bowling shirt--
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
It may seem gross but it doesn’t hurt;
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
I’ll steal some wheels for my mean machine
From the cop car on the village green–
We’ll go faster than you’ve ever seen
In a bowling shirt.

I’m picking my nose in a bowling shirt–
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
I’ll have an extra donut for dessert;
Then I’ll snack on pizza and wings
Smoke me five packs of filter kings–
I don’t care what tomorrow brings
In a bowling shirt.

We are right and they are wrong
And we’re on top where we belong;
We are young and we are bold
And we won’t die ‘til we get old;

I’m picking my nose in a bowling shirt–
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
Don’t just think that I’m trying to flirt;
Though the chicks think I’m really neat
My mean machine has a big back seat–
It’s the best place to go into heat
In a bowling shirt.

- - -

(Instrumental)

I’m picking my nose in a bowling shirt--
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
I’ve done it since I was just a squirt;
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
I’d stick my little pinky in
And give my wrist a gentle spin–
The pope says it’s a venial sin
In a bowling shirt.

I am healthy, smart, and strong
And I know I’m never, ever wrong;
I am happy, brave and free–
Can’t wait ‘til I’m through puberty!

I’m picking my nose in a bowling shirt–
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
It’s a joy I won’t avert;
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
It gives my day that certain lift
When I start the evening shift
To reach up for that special gift
In a bowling shirt.